In the popular New International Version (NIV) of the Bible the word "flesh" does not appear as often as in the King James Version and the New King James Version (NKJV). Instead, NIV translations of the Greek word sarx, flesh, use words that convey the idea that the sarx is the sinful human nature. For example, in the NKJV 1 John 2:16 reads "For all that is in the world -- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life -- is not of the Father but is of the world." The NIV translates "the lusts of the flesh" as "the cravings of sinful man." However, later in the letter the same word is translated "flesh" when John states "This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that ac knowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh [sarx] is from God" (1 Jn 4:2). Of course, none of the translators of the NIV would say the Jesus Christ came in the "sin nature." Therefore, their translation of sarx along these lines elsewhere is at least questionable.
As I have pointed out in other sermons, the flesh refers to the natural sense of human self-interest, a basic predilection to "look out for your own skin." Christ came in the flesh; he was born in a human body affected by the fall of Adam, and so was tempted by the same sins that all people commit due to their narrow self interest. However, Jesus did not succumb to sin. Because of Christ's work the elect are regenerated, no longer in the flesh but in the Spirit. They are not slaves to the flesh, but respond to God's Word through the Spirit.
I have reminded you of these lessons because they should be remembered even when we speak of the one-flesh relationship of marriage. There are issues that must be resolved. Although we assert with the Bible that marriage is a one-flesh relationship, even such a relationship can be in the flesh and not in the Spirit. Therefore, I want to advance three lessons from the text before us that should be helpful in understanding the use of the words body, flesh, and members in terms of a Christian husband's love for his wife.
Verse 28 begins with the word "So," which refers to what precedes this verse: the command that husbands love their wives as Christ loves the church. Thus what follows in this passage is the basis for the practices which define a Christian husband's love.
This transition would be clearer if the Greek word translated "ought" conveyed the original sense of obligation or debt. Paul is saying more than that husbands should or ought to love their wives. The husband's love is due his wife (Compare 1 Cor 7:3).
The love commanded husbands toward their wives is in the same way that they love "their own bodies." This is a strong statement because the Biblical use of the word "body" is very much like our own. The body is the complete physical manifestation of someone or something (2 Cor 10:10). The body can be spoken of apart from the person, the soul or individual life force, as with a dead body or in cases in which the person is described as controlling the body.
The love of husbands for their wives is not a moral issue in the sense of placing another's interests before one's own. The Bible asserts that the husband "who loves his wife loves himself." Therefore, failure to love one's wife is unbelief in God's Word.
There are two ways of interpreting this verse. The most common interpretation involves thinking that Paul is saying that a Christian husband should love his wife as if she were his own body. This is like the typical moralistic argument which might be stated: treat the property of others as if it were your own property. The problem with this interpretation is the same as the problem with the moral argument: people know the difference.
The second interpretation, which I believe is correct, is that Paul is stating that the wife is the body of the husband as the church is the body of Christ. Throughout this letter Paul has spoken of the church as the body of Christ and here he is explicitly comparing the relationship of husband and wife to that of Christ and the church. The statement that the husband is the head of the wife also is based on the fact that Christ is the Head of the church (Col 1:18). That husband and wife are distinguishable individuals does not deny the spiritual reality of this relationship. The elect also have distinct bodies which are part of the body of Christ (Php 3:21; Col 1:24). Indeed, the fact that husband and wife have authority over one an other's bodies is related to the spiritual reality that they are one body (1 Cor 7:4).
To say that the wife is the husband's body means that she manifests who he is spiritually, just as the church is Christ's physical presence in the world. Indeed, if you want to know something about a man you want to meet his wife. She will communicate to you more about him, especially in the way she treats him, than he ever will. Husbands and wives stay together in our congregational life so that we can see what kind of men we are and make the corrections commanded by God.
In verse 29 we have the word "flesh," which often is used interchangeably with "body" in the Bible. However, they are distinguishable. Whereas the body is the whole physical presence of a person, the flesh with the blood is the living substance. To become "one flesh," as in marriage, means that the husband and wife have one life together (Mt 19:5,6; Mk 10:7,8). Just as we distinguish between body and soul, so too should we distinguish between flesh and spirit. The flesh is all of the physical substance of an individual life, whereas spirit is the power in a life.
Being reborn in Christ does not come through the flesh, through human agency, nor even the human spirit, but only through God's Spirit (John 1:13; see also John 3:6). Nevertheless, God's plan of salvation required that "the Word became flesh." In other words, God the Son became a living human being (John 1:14).
The ordinary human care for the flesh seems to be suggested by saying that one who doesn't hate his flesh "nourishes and cherishes it." However, this is not the usual word for "nourish," but instead refers to contributing to the growth of someone or something, even beyond nourishment. The word's only other New Testament use is in this letter, which refers to "bringing up" children through training and admonition in the Lord (Eph 6:4). "Cherish" has the sense of expressing warmth.
Some commentators have reduced nourishing and cherishing in this verse to providing food and clothing. Although the word translated as "nourish" does not quite fit, the basic argument against that interpretation lies in the fact that the husband must nourish and cherish his wife as Christ does the church. Although Jesus miraculously fed two large groups of people, He de parted from and rebuked those who came to Him only for food. Moreover, that miracle was a sign that Jesus is the Christ, not a continuing ministry of the church according to the manner of Jesus. Indeed, God does provide His people with all that they need, but such providence is not distinctively the work of Christ in His church.
Jesus Christ nourishes and cherishes His people through His Spirit by means of the sacraments and the Word in the church. Husbands, as such, do not serve the sacraments. However, each husband should nourish his wife spiritually through the Word of God. Of course, he should provide for her, but the model of Christ emphasizes the use of the Word. If a husband fails to use the Word to contribute to his wife's spiritual growth, they will not grow together. In effect, he will be like those who suffer from anorexia and starve their own bodies to conform to a distorted image of themselves.
Along with spiritual nourishment, a wife should be cherished. A husband who only studies the Bible with his wife but does not give her the warmth that she needs makes a mockery of Christ's love for the church.
Verse 30 establishes the basis for the Lord loving, nourishing, and cherishing the church as His own body and flesh. The word "members" is used in many passages that speak of the parts of a body. These passages, like our text, reinforce the fact that the words "body," "flesh," and "members" emphasize different aspects of the relationship of whole, substance, and parts.
However, salvation actually is described as breaking the unity of body, flesh and the members in several ways. A member of a body may be lost or perish but the body live (Mt 5:29,30). The members of the bodies of Christians are supposed to cease from serving the sinful lusts of the flesh and to be come instruments for righteousness (Rom 6:13,19; 7:5; compare Col 3:5). The "law of sin" is alive in one's members, but Christ delivers the elect from the "body of death" (Rom 7:23,24; compare Jas 4:1). Christians are not "in the flesh," but in the Spirit (Rom 8:9). Indeed, "if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness" (Rom 8:10). Christians are saved from the body of death because they have become members of the body of Christ.
The reason for Christ's love for the church is that "we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones." However, regeneration actually disrupts the relationship of each individual's body, flesh, and members. Therefore, a Christian husband's love is different from the supposed love of an unbelieving husband for his wife. The love of non-Christians is in the flesh, whereas the love of Christian husbands is derived not from the flesh, even their own wives', but from being in Christ's body.
Being in the body of Christ in a congregation also is crucial for the development of a Christian husband's love. A Christian husband who lives apart from the means of grace in the congregation will be impaired in his love for his wife. He will act more on the fleshly unity of marriage instead of the love that comes from being in the body of Christ. The flesh which husbands and wives share apart from Christ is the flesh which wars against the Spirit.
In summary, I have examined Paul's use of the words body, flesh, and members to describe the basis for the Christian husband's love of his wife. God causes a unity of body, flesh, and members in marriage to help us understand the relationship of Christ and the church. First of all, a Christian husband is known by the presence of his wife, his body. Secondly, a Christian husband's nourishing and cherishing of his wife as his own flesh is different from that of a non-Christian. Thirdly, only husbands who are members of the body of Christ can love their wives as Christ loves the church.
Sin affects all aspects of human life, including the husband-wife relationship -- so does salvation. The relationship of every Christian to their own bodies, flesh, and members is changed by regeneration. However, being gathered into the body of Christ actually is the true basis for the fulfillment of God's purpose for the husband-wife relationship. Let us conform to God's Word, even when it points to sin in one's marriage, because the relationship of husband and wife in this world is Christian to the extent that it reflects the union of Christ and the church.
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